Baby photography is adorable, but more importantly, it captures memories from moments that fly by far too quickly during motherhood, which is a beautiful journey full of ups and downs in itself. But, regardless of the adversity you and yours have to tackle, your child can brighten up your world in an instant. Lisa shares her experiences in motherhood and some of the tough battles that go on behind closed doors. When dealing with difficult times, she shows us how crucial it is to never place blame on ourselves, and to give ourselves light instead, while holding onto and creating new memories along the way.
Life is no longer your own, but it is not a bad thing...
"I have been pregnant four times, but have only two children. Before each successful pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. I started there, because I had no idea how common miscarriages were when I experienced my first one (before having my first child). I felt guilt, shame, and confusion because I thought I had to have done something wrong. I figured that I was being punished for something. I questioned whether to even try again after the miscarriage. It was a terrible experience and I did not want to go through that again. But, I got pregnant again and the pregnancy was fine. My husband wasn't. The same day we got the blood test confirming our pregnancy we found out my husband had a brain tumor. When I was about four months pregnant, he went in for a procedure to remove the tumor. He was supposed to be in and out within three days. He ended up having complications and was in the ICU for over a week. I went home once every day to soak in the tub and get some healthy food for the baby I was carrying. We survived, he survived and is fine. Other than the scar on his head and the hearing loss in one ear, you would have no idea the trauma we endured. The human body has an amazing capacity to heal. After that drama, you would think the second time around had to be easier. Well, again, I had a miscarriage before a successful pregnancy. Like the first miscarriage, one day I didn't feel pregnant anymore and at my next appointment I learned I had miscarried. The second miscarriage was hard, but I knew this time that miscarriages happen and no one is to blame. Like the first time, I was lucky and got pregnant again right away and carried a healthy baby to term. I was seven years older, so the pregnancy was harder on my body, but the baby just as perfect as the first. Being pregnant and having a baby during COVID was surreal to say the least. But, we all stayed healthy and have been able to enjoy our delicious little baby.
My pregnancy journeys have been marred by outside world things, but inside I was blessed with healthy babies.
A baby changes everything; no more sleeping in until you feel like getting up. If you stay up late you will still have to get up when the baby does. Being spontaneous requires preparation. Your life is no longer your own, but it is not a bad thing. After baby number two, well, you are overrun. Exhausted, stressed, often covered in someone else's goo, you have to drink it all up and enjoy it because it flies by. It is important to take a beat every now and again and just smell that baby head. Ignore the laundry or the dishes and take a walk with the baby. Take little videos of the funny things they do and the noises they make when they are small. You will be amazed how many memories get buried under new memories as they grow. The little coos, the chortles, the giggles, the screams, try to take some little videos of it all. They don't have to have perfect lighting and they don't have to be for anyone but you. Those little movements and sounds are so precious to rewatch when your kids are older and driving you crazy.
Advice for those expecting. If you are going to get an epidural ask for it as soon as you get to the hospital, especially if you are there at night. Remember that it can take time to get an anesthesiologist to you when you are there after hours. The second time around my contractions were mild and the nurses asked if I wanted the epidural yet — I said no. The contractions intensified quickly and baby ended up beating the epidural! If it is safe to do so, you should take a prenatal exercise class to strengthen your pelvic floor and help keep your back muscles strong and healthy as your belly grows. If you have a vaginal delivery, do accept the extra mesh underwear and be prepared for some discomfort when you come home. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to heal."
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